Passion Fruit Presence

Sipping my passion fruit drink, I stood still, surrounded by bustle, karaoke, chattering, smoke, fountains and lights.

For a moment I felt present. The passionfruit seeds crunched between my teeth and I felt calm.

August 4, 2017

Advertisements

One Hail Mary

Recently I was in the park with my daughter reading in the sun. After some time we got up to leave and walked to the car. When we got there I realized my reading glasses were not in my case, in my bag. I had a sense something was amiss. We walked back to the spot we were laying and searched in the long grass. I didn’t feel very confident that I’d find them.

A man with his four young children were walking nearby and he noticed me searching the ground. He asked me what was wrong and I explained what we were doing. He immediately started to help look. So did his kids.

My daughter said that we were looking in the wrong spot and remembered that we were a little bit away from the area we were scouring.

I moved over toward her and saw my glasses and held them up joyfully! The man said “I’m Catholic and it only took 1 Hail Mary”.
I’m not Catholic but I was very grateful. I smiled and said “there was magic is that Hail Mary”.
I thanked him and kids for helping and for the Hail Mary. I shook their hands. We were all smiling. I said good bye and as my girl and I walked back toward our car, the late afternoon sun felt warm on our backs and seemed to glow even more golden.

April 16, 2017

Kate

img_0572

I stumbled across a documentary on YouTube last night about Kate Bush. It contained a lot of footage of her when she was very young. She was 16 when she recorded her very early tracks and they were blindingly beautiful and unique.

She comes across so sweet and easily friendly and yet her music is some sort of emotional force that finds its way into your cells and settles there. She stirs your imagination and a deep feminine energy inside. She taps into something ancient. She is an enigma to me because she comes across so differently in interviews than how I envision her when I listen to her music.

How many facets of us are there? How much of ourselves remains untapped? What version of us do people see and what version of the people we love do we see? How much is suppressed in us?

How do we manage to be our true authentic selves when so much depends on us not being so?

July 20, 2016

Deeply Australian

Feeling deeply Australian today. Yearning to be back on Australian soil, with that bright light sun on my face and the scent of eucalyptus enveloping me.

The salt air in Manly. Fish and chips on The Corso, and a cold beer at one of the pubs.

I miss the sense of belonging and relative peace.

I miss the rain, the storms and the windy, wild days.

I miss my sister, and my parents and my friends who have stayed true. I miss their easy going ways. Their beautiful laugh lines etched deep by those long days squinting in the sun. I miss their casual affection.

God … I miss it all. I’m sick for home.

July 20, 2016

22082_16

Just The Way You Are

img_9906

Something interesting happened tonight. My girl and I went to the local shops after we watched the sunset and a woman was giving away face moisturizer samples outside the front of a fancy cosmetics store. She was a clever communicator and drew us into the store even though it would have been one of the last places on earth I ever would have walked into. She started her spiel about this stuff she was smearing onto my face to tighten my skin and fill my lines and lighten the dark areas around my eyes and so on and so on. She said the stuff retailed at $700 but I would get a discount and that I should realize how much it would save me on Botox treatments etc.

Botox treatments. Me. Those of you who know me well know that’s just not something I would ever do, but allow me to continue.

As the woman was chatting to me about all this I was listening intently and trying to look interested. I was doing this because I picked up a scent of something akin to desperation from her, almost a little like sadness. It was an hour before closing time, the store was empty and she was on her own. I thought she may have been bored and perhaps lonely. I sort of felt sorry for her and let her try to convince me that I needed this product. I wasn’t in a hurry and didn’t see the harm in letting her practice on me.

As I sat there and listened and nodded my daughter watched me intently. Finally, I said we had to go. We thanked her and said we would think about it…the product. We walked out the store and my daughter promptly burst into tears.

She said she didn’t want me to get Botox treatments and remove my lines. She said she didn’t want me to feel like I wasn’t beautiful just the way I was. She said she didn’t think I needed anything like that and that she was worried that I would start to think I did.

I wiped her tears away and told her that I loved her. I told her why I stayed and let the lady talk to us. I told her that I wasn’t going to try and hold back time and that I agreed that we shouldn’t feel pressured to change ourselves to conform with the expectations of others.

I hope with all my heart that she will always think and feel this way.

April 2, 2016