Passion Fruit Presence

Sipping my passion fruit drink, I stood still, surrounded by bustle, karaoke, chattering, smoke, fountains and lights.

For a moment I felt present. The passionfruit seeds crunched between my teeth and I felt calm.

August 4, 2017

Advertisements

One Hail Mary

Recently I was in the park with my daughter reading in the sun. After some time we got up to leave and walked to the car. When we got there I realized my reading glasses were not in my case, in my bag. I had a sense something was amiss. We walked back to the spot we were laying and searched in the long grass. I didn’t feel very confident that I’d find them.

A man with his four young children were walking nearby and he noticed me searching the ground. He asked me what was wrong and I explained what we were doing. He immediately started to help look. So did his kids.

My daughter said that we were looking in the wrong spot and remembered that we were a little bit away from the area we were scouring.

I moved over toward her and saw my glasses and held them up joyfully! The man said “I’m Catholic and it only took 1 Hail Mary”.
I’m not Catholic but I was very grateful. I smiled and said “there was magic is that Hail Mary”.
I thanked him and kids for helping and for the Hail Mary. I shook their hands. We were all smiling. I said good bye and as my girl and I walked back toward our car, the late afternoon sun felt warm on our backs and seemed to glow even more golden.

April 16, 2017

Tough Mother F

cls121104-230

The older and wiser I get the more I realize the truth. We don’t have to be pretty or beautiful. We have to be tough mother fuckers to get by in this world.
We have to be resilient and smart and creative and somehow keep some passion for something alive in us as we travel through this quagmire.
When I was young I wasted so much time feeling worth less than I should have because I didn’t look “like the pretty, hot girls”.
What a fucking waste of time and energy.
While beauty can open doors, often they are at doorways I wouldn’t want to walk through.
I got where I am today because I’m a tough mother fucker.Smart, hard working, creative and resilient.
I can honestly say that I was never pretty. But fuck pretty. I’m something altogether more than that.

Sunday September 18, 2016

Sadness

november-12-hannahs-camera-028Joy fills you up inside at your center and makes you feel like floating and flying and exploding with warmth and love and laughter.

Sadness permeates every single cell, settles into your bones and creates pain that radiates through and all around you.

I am thinking about the physical structure of emotions, and how they manifest themselves in our bodies.

Joy is often so fleeting.

Sadness on the other hand tends to linger and take over in a quiet, sneaky way.

Sometimes it’s a complete take over.

The world just looks sad in every way when every cell is drenched in it’s gray.
Sunday September 18, 2016

Kate

img_0572

I stumbled across a documentary on YouTube last night about Kate Bush. It contained a lot of footage of her when she was very young. She was 16 when she recorded her very early tracks and they were blindingly beautiful and unique.

She comes across so sweet and easily friendly and yet her music is some sort of emotional force that finds its way into your cells and settles there. She stirs your imagination and a deep feminine energy inside. She taps into something ancient. She is an enigma to me because she comes across so differently in interviews than how I envision her when I listen to her music.

How many facets of us are there? How much of ourselves remains untapped? What version of us do people see and what version of the people we love do we see? How much is suppressed in us?

How do we manage to be our true authentic selves when so much depends on us not being so?

July 20, 2016