Suddenly there was a seismic shift and the ground moved beneath me, and when the shock subsided everything felt wrong.
My American dream is gone.
I really didn’t think this would happen. I tried to brace myself for the possibility that it might but when it was clear that he won, something died inside me.
Trump let the goose out of the bag. As a narcissist and egotist, he just threw it all on the line. He didn’t care about the damage he was doing to us in his thirst for power. He threatened, degraded, belittled, and ridiculed us. He effectively brought seething racism and misogyny up to the surface and made it possible for millions to express it through their vote for him.
When I am out in public now I see people look at each other differently. I wonder if my neighbors voted for him. I feel like I don’t know who to trust. Everything feels different.
I’ve struggled to make a life here in the U.S for my family and really invested in the community. I became a citizen and I have a place I call home here. I thought I had come to understand what this place was but now I see how naive I was and I question our future here. Do I want to raise my kids in a country that allows a man like Trump to rise to the very top position? Am I supposed to just ignore everything that I believe in and have worked for in communities over the past 25 years and just say, well, we can just make the best of this? Some would say if I’m a citizen I stay true and fight and this is what this place has always been. This is America and I’ve had blinkers on.
I feel powerless. I don’t know where to put this and so many others don’t either, although I know that we are trying to work it out and move forward. People are organizing.
My old American dream is gone and maybe that’s just how life is for most people in most places most of the time. Dreams get shattered and then you just live without the dream…
Perhaps a new dream is emerging for me. Perhaps now it’s more important than ever to dream and join with others with similar dreams to create the world we want for our kids and for future generations. Keep dreaming.
November 10, 2016