Bare

By  Wildes (Ella Walker), 2016

Throw me down
I’ll steal the moon
I’ll tear the night,
keep it from you.

Hold me up
and watch me bloom
I’m a dangerous fire
A poison fume

Now I’m done staying,
Quit playing
I’m out on this.
I’ve spent too long lying,
And now I’m trying to hurt you.

But you’ve seen me bare, you’ve seen me covered up
Maybe I’m not scared, what you’re thinking of
You’ve seen me here, and held me miles away,
Underneath my skin, is all you’ll see today.

I, could take you there,
If, you let me see
Why, you are the one,
Are you the one for me?

Time, is wasted and
I’m not losing sleep
Don’t just stand and stare
Come on and bare your teeth

Come on and bare your teeth…

You’ve seen me bare, you’ve seen me covered up
Maybe I’m not scared, what you’re thinking of
You’ve seen me here, and held me miles away,
Underneath my skin, is all you’ll see today.

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Just The Way You Are

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Something interesting happened tonight. My girl and I went to the local shops after we watched the sunset and a woman was giving away face moisturizer samples outside the front of a fancy cosmetics store. She was a clever communicator and drew us into the store even though it would have been one of the last places on earth I ever would have walked into. She started her spiel about this stuff she was smearing onto my face to tighten my skin and fill my lines and lighten the dark areas around my eyes and so on and so on. She said the stuff retailed at $700 but I would get a discount and that I should realize how much it would save me on Botox treatments etc.

Botox treatments. Me. Those of you who know me well know that’s just not something I would ever do, but allow me to continue.

As the woman was chatting to me about all this I was listening intently and trying to look interested. I was doing this because I picked up a scent of something akin to desperation from her, almost a little like sadness. It was an hour before closing time, the store was empty and she was on her own. I thought she may have been bored and perhaps lonely. I sort of felt sorry for her and let her try to convince me that I needed this product. I wasn’t in a hurry and didn’t see the harm in letting her practice on me.

As I sat there and listened and nodded my daughter watched me intently. Finally, I said we had to go. We thanked her and said we would think about it…the product. We walked out the store and my daughter promptly burst into tears.

She said she didn’t want me to get Botox treatments and remove my lines. She said she didn’t want me to feel like I wasn’t beautiful just the way I was. She said she didn’t think I needed anything like that and that she was worried that I would start to think I did.

I wiped her tears away and told her that I loved her. I told her why I stayed and let the lady talk to us. I told her that I wasn’t going to try and hold back time and that I agreed that we shouldn’t feel pressured to change ourselves to conform with the expectations of others.

I hope with all my heart that she will always think and feel this way.

April 2, 2016

Ukulele

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I was laying on a grassy embankment close to the water’s edge beneath a tree with my girl today and a guy sets up at a picnic table not far from us and starts playing the ukulele. He plays these classic rock tunes with a Hawaiian flair and we listen as the notes mingle with the sound of the sea and the birds overhead. After a while I mention how lovely it is to hear him play. We chat a little about the instrument in relation to what it’s like to play a guitar and he tells me some things about his life. Then he asks me if I want a CD. I think he is asking me if I want to buy one. Then he says that he doesn’t sell them, he just gives them away. So I gratefully accept one and we chat a little more and he goes on playing. He leaves and I thank him for the chat and the music.

It’s late now and I am listening to the sound of the waves crashing and the crickets and my daughter’s breathing as she sleeps. I’m also listening to the sound of the ukulele turned down low, playing the CD that I was given today. It’s the sound of this place and it makes me glad to be alive.

April 2, 2016