Stones

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I was thinking about my regrets and the things that make me angry. I was thinking about the hard things we experience in life that leave their mark on us. I saw myself as a jagged rock. Rough with dents, sharp points and etched with deep grooves. Then I started to see myself differently.

I saw myself as a polished stone.

We are stones in a river. We become polished as we move through life. We shine, become better, stronger, wiser and more capable with all the bumps and knocks we experience along the way.

We are beautiful river stones … smooth and shining. Life refines us.

August 15, 2015

Breastfeeding

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Breastfeeding is NORMAL. Breastfeeding is human. Breastfeeding is why women have breasts … to produce milk for our babies. I breastfed my babies everywhere, all the time. No shame. No hiding. One of the reasons why it can be hard for some new mothers to get the hang of breastfeeding in our Western culture is because they hardly ever see other women breastfeeding. There is no natural learning going on by being around other women who are breastfeeding. It should not be a mystery. It’s a normal part of being human. Negative attitudes surrounding women breastfeeding in public places makes me mad. It’s another form of social control over women’s behavior and bodies. Social control over how we feel about feeding our babies. That’s crazy and unnatural.

And when women get down on women who breastfeed in public that makes me even madder. If a woman can’t breastfeed for medical reasons or just doesn’t want to, then formula works fine and I respect a women’s right to choose. However, no women who can and wants to should ever be made to feel uncomfortable about breastfeeding her baby at any time.

Breastfeeding in NORMAL. It’s a human thing to do.

August 15, 2015

Warm Feeling in your Heart

Today I was telling my daughter that I would always have her back. That I would always defend her and fight for her. She said that she does that for her friends and when they do that for her she gets a really warm feeling in her heart.

I thought about how I have fought for people throughout my life and about how seldom I’ve had people speak up for me or defend me when I needed them to. On the rare occasions where I received that kind of support I felt like my daughter felt.  It gave me a warm feeling in my heart. I also understood how that feeling can help you heal.

We need to stand up for people who are doing the right thing and be an ally when it really counts. If we don’t, those people won’t be able to keep making the world a better place. We need to protect and preserve good hearts.

August 10, 2015

Home

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What does it take for a place to feel like home? At first I thought it was about where you are born, connections, and memories, and I guess all those things do add up to a sense of home. However, when you move to a place far from your roots, I think only after you have experienced a broad gamut of emotions, highs and lows, victories and disappointments, pleasure and pain does that new place start to feel like home. I guess that’s how it has been for me. Home isn’t perfect but it’s where I have felt each minute of each hour of each day of each year I have lived for the past 10 years. It is so far from perfect but it’s my home.

August 2, 2015

I’ll Believe You

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If you feel you have been discriminated against, exploited, abused, overlooked, treated unfairly, taken advantage of or made to feel bad about yourself because of the way you dress or the shape of your body, I’ll listen to you. I won’t roll my eyes when you tell me about how that mistreatment made you feel. I won’t try to minimize it or make you feel like you are over reacting or that you somehow brought it on yourself. I’ll understand. I’ll see it for what it is. I’ll stand by you and speak up for you. I’ll feel angry with you and share your pain, disappointment and frustration and I’ll help you refocus and push through, forward and onward. I’ll remind you how capable, resilient and beautiful you are inside and out. I’ll remind you that sometimes we trust too much, we don’t see the forest for the trees because we are so immersed in the trees all of the time that it’s easy for us to get lost. We can lose ourselves and we can easily start to believe that somehow they are right and that there is something wrong with us.

When you need someone to believe in you…to believe you…I’ll believe.

July 31, 2015

When I Arrive Home

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When I arrive home the first thing I feel is relief. Then I smell the warm, balmy, earthy air and I feel exhilarated. Then I see the faces of my family members and we always cry. I’m so tired from the travel yet every cell in me is alive and alert. We drive away from the airport and through suburbs that spread out to forest. Then there is the quiet chatter and the hum of the highway. Green all around and that blue, blue sky, so large always … and the wet, earthy smell. Then the sugar cane starts and all around there are the rainforest shrouded hills and then the river escorts us to the town that is our destination. I feel calm as we enter the community, familiar to me now. Then I arrive at my sister’s home, my home. I can’t wait to be home again … it’s been too long.

May 25, 2014